Ending Mom Guilt: 23 Things to Stop Feeling Guilty About Now

Ending Mom Guilt

When did guilt become such a huge part of being a mom? We all want to be the best mom we can for our kids. But we also have to remember we are human beings. And as human beings, perfection is an impossible goal. Trying to do everything “right” as a mom at the expense of your own needs is a recipe for stress, exhaustion, and unhappiness. The truth is your kids don’t need perfection. They just need you. The real you. And all the flaws that come with it. In the spirit of embracing flawed motherhood and raising kids in the real world, here are 23 things (among the hundreds out there)  to stop feeling guilty about today. Let’s stop the mom guilt!

23 Things to Stop Feeling Mom Guilt About

  1. Needing time alone

  2. Spending time with your spouse without the kids

  3. Letting your kids have screen time

  4. Hiding treats to eat when your kids aren’t around

  5. Being a working mom/stay at home mom/work at home mom

  6. WANTING to work

  7. Stealing from your kid’s Halloween candy (or Easter or Christmas)

  8. Not enjoying playing with your kids

  9. Hating to do crafts

  10. Serving fast food/take out/frozen dinners to your kids

  11. Taking time to exercise

  12. Taking a nap!

  13. Looking at your phone when you’re with your kids

  14. Pursuing YOUR interests and passions outside of your kids and family

  15. Asking for help with your kids

  16. Venting about parenting and your kids to a friend

  17. Hiring a daycare/babysitter/nanny

  18. Having a messy house

  19. Wearing yoga pants and no makeup

  20. Wearing a hot dress and all the makeup

  21. Blowing up at your kids

  22. Having a meltdown in front of your kids

  23. Making mistakes

You ARE a WONDERFUL MOM!

The reason mom guilt messes with our heads is because of how much we love our kids. We want to do and be and give everything our kids need. But what they really need is you, their mom, healthy and happy. The best way to give them that is to let go of the mom guilt. You’re doing an amazing job, mama!

What are some are some other mom guilt things better let go of? Add them in the comments!

10 Comments

  1. Laurie
    July 20, 2017

    Liz,
    Good Post. I have my two cents to add…
    First of all, it appears “guilt” arrives in a big way along with the birth of your first child. But somehow it seems to only attach to mom. Dad seems to escape this “parental guilt”. At least dad doesn’t seem to get it as intensely ( along with the inability to hear a crying baby in the night) ?
    However in regards to “guilt”, if what you are doing or not doing is hurting someone, then the ” guilt” is a good reminder and is teaching you something and you should listen to it.
    However, if the ” guilt” isn’t hurting anyone else then those ” guilt feelings” are actually trying to tell YOU that you need to take care of YOURSELF. You most likely as a worn out mom need to do some self care. So next time you feel ” guilty” think about giving yourself some time and attention. After all as you said in your blog post, we are all only human.

    Reply
    1. Elizabeth
      July 21, 2017

      I agree Dad isn’t quite as affected by parental guilt. Self-care can definitely help. Sometimes Mom Guilt is really exhaustion talking!
      Elizabeth recently posted…Ending Mom Guilt: 23 Things to Stop Feeling Guilty About NowMy Profile

      Reply
  2. Elizabeth Hint
    July 20, 2017

    I am sharing this with a friend of mine. She is a new mom and recently posted a picture of her going out with some friends for the first time in a few years. She kept trying to apologize for going out and not being at home. I think she needs to read this from someone else. Thank you.
    Elizabeth Hint recently posted…What Stay-at-Home-Mom’s Want You to Know.My Profile

    Reply
    1. Elizabeth
      July 21, 2017

      Thanks for sharing! I’ve seen moms doing that too! Whenever they show pictures of themselves doing anything that doesn’t include the kids they feel they have to offer justification. It’s sad. And it’s easy for me to see that when other moms do it. But I have trouble when it comes to myself!
      Elizabeth recently posted…Ending Mom Guilt: 23 Things to Stop Feeling Guilty About NowMy Profile

      Reply
  3. Elise Cohen Ho
    July 20, 2017

    I think that unless something is really wrong then parenting guilt is of no service. Mom and Dad need to embrace their roles and forgive themselves if things do not go exactly according to plan.
    Elise Cohen Ho recently posted…What A Stroke Taught Me About LifeMy Profile

    Reply
  4. ryan
    July 21, 2017

    This is a great list. I try to give my wife alone time when I can. I know chasing a 18 month old alllll day can wear ya down!
    ryan recently posted…New Dads – That First Week At HomeMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Shell
    July 21, 2017

    This is a wonderful read and sharing with my sister!

    Reply
  6. Elizabeth
    July 22, 2017

    I must say I do suffer from that mom guilt sometimes, but the only thing that assuages it is when I remember that I am doing my best for them. I am also human too and I can be selfish sometimes.
    Elizabeth recently posted…6 things a Stay at home mom struggles withMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Dori
    July 25, 2017

    The older my children get…the less guilty I feel about the vast majority of things on this list. I think it’s just something that comes with age and experience as the years go by. Those early years are tough for sure and you want so much to make sure you are the “great mom” that every one raves about. You don’t want anyone to see the chinks in your “mom armor” A few years go by and then 10 years and you start to feel a little more like “I did my time with the play dates, and the strollers and the bake sales etc…now I’m going to sit here and enjoy my wine AND my dang candy bar!”

    Reply
  8. shirley corder
    January 30, 2018

    Good post. But I agree with Laurie. Sometimes it may be a prod to think deeply about what you’re doing. Then if you know there is no harm being done, believe in yourself and your need to your own life. You’re not only a mom and a wife. You’re a YOU. Answers to Questions I wouldn’t have Thought to Ask~#SYW

    Reply

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